I changed jobs, becoming a bank teller at a commercial bank, and with one car, things were becoming hectic trying to manage our schedules. One night I had to drive home in a blizzard, and literally could not see much in front of me, the wiper blades could not keep up. Cars were sliding back the small hills on the highway, I kissed the ground when I got home. My dear husband, got me good then too, as we lived up on the fifth floor, and we had to park on the street. After finally getting through the snow filled walks and streets, and climbing 5 flights up due to the elevator being not in service, he asked me. " Did you turn off the headlights?" Now, I had such good habits about that sort of thing, but, the nagging doubt forced me back out to double check. Bastard!!!!
Sometime shortly later, we found an apartment in on the bottom floor of a home in Valley Stream, giving us more room, and a closer commute. Would you believe we paid 185 dollars a mos for our rent for the first few years, and we lived there for 15 yrs. When we left, due to the landlord and his wife turning out to be unwilling to make repairs, or renovate this very old apartment, the rent was about $480.00.
Our sons were about 2 and 3, when we moved in. Al and I were excited about the " new" place, we bought new furniture, and we decorated with wall paper, new vinyl tile on the floors, and painted the wood work with a dark enamel paint. We put up new curtains, and the place was looking good.
A few days later, after Al went off to work, I was awakened by a very sticky little hand, and opened my eyes to a nightmare. Brian , and Michael were dark brown, from head to toe, with only the whites of their eyes and diapers showing. Brian says, " Mommy, get up and see what we did for you!" There's more?
He leads me into the dining room, where they have found a way into the closet, which had a lock up top, got out the paint, and proceeded to paint the walls, the floor, the curtains, wall paper, and apparently each other, with that dark paint. They even painted some of the new furniture, which was a dark wood, in any case, but, OH MY GOD!
I realized I was not sleeping, as I could smell the paint too. I scooped them up and plopped them into the tub, and told them not to move, do not touch anything, and I went quickly to see what I could do about all that paint. They put their arms around each other, crying, and I heard Brian say to his little brother," We are going to die..." " No, you are not, just sit still, lol." Nothing could be done about the paint in the room yet, so, I turned my attention to them. I tried to wash that paint off them with soap and water, to no avail, it was oil based enamel, water did not cut it. I had to use very dilute turpentine, according to the " expert" I called, and felt like a failure as a mother, as their little faces got so red from that. But, it had to come off, as the skin would not breathe through that paint.
I then did my best to clean up the floors, and walls, but, the curtains had to be thrown out, and there was a 'stained" look to the floors forever. I was reminded of this when I saw this video recently.
After Michael was born, the health department advised me to have an IUD, (Intrauterine Device) place in my uterus to prevent any pregnancies that we did not plan. A few mos after I had this device in place, I had severe pain in my lower back, spreading to my upper back, and pelvic area, I feared that the device had perforated something, and I was rushed to the hospital, They did some testing, and told me I had gas pains. Really? OUCH! This pain reoccurred frequently and on further testing they determined I had a diseased gall bladder. They advised a very bland diet, too bland for me. Plain toast and boiled meat? No seasonings or fat? So, if I ate Chinese Food, my Hungarian Goulash, or had any alcohol at all, I was guaranteed some pain... some days it was worth it.
Al's illness came and went, but, when it came it was fierce and could take weeks to leave him. Any change in routine, seemed to bring it on, and we would take trips to the emergency room, and we were referred to doctors, specialists, and finally psychiatrists, to very little hope. He started smoking pot to help relieve his vomiting, and so he could eat. I started smoking, too, just because.
When Al's mother, decided to retire from babysitting the boys, we found child care with a woman who was 35 and had 6 children, and was on her second husband. This seemed to be a good fit for us, as the boys were not in school yet, and she was very calm and had children for the boys to play with. A few months later, this calm, married, mother of 6, was trying to seduce my husband, and it was working.
He would go to pick up the boys after he was done with work, and she would fix him lunch, invite him to swim with her in the pool, talk with him about her past, her issues, and his. My antennae stood up on my head, when I happened to be there , and the " glances" they gave each other. Al was losing interest in me, and our sex life was suffering. We had gone from Wow.. to:
Yes, indeed.
One night he told me he had a funeral to go to. He went out at 8 pm to go to a funeral. Right.
I outright told him my suspicions a few times, only to be told there was no way, oh no, never, etc., and I told him, yes way, and I will leave you way, and he finally confessed that yes, we need to change babysitters. She is so calm, and an older woman, and is so flattering, and nothing happened, well, there was that kiss the night of the funeral that was really a trip to the " mall", and blah blah blah. Women may forgive, but, we never forget. My heart was broken, and never healed. As it turns out, he was prone to the "flattering" and attention over the next many years. Oftentimes, it would seem I had 3 boys, and one was my husband.
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