Why not? It is the night of Fall Back for the time change in the USA, and a weekend. I have an 11:00 pm curfew and a chance to sit in between Arty and blue eyes. My friend Joanne M comes along. I am in! Off we go. They then buy some beer, OK, not even good beer, Colt 45 Malt Liquor in a tall can. They offer me some, and I try it.
Awful, and to this day, I dislike beer, it was my first drink of alcohol, and I drank that entire can. Whoa, I became intoxicated for the first time in my life, and it seemed fun. We talked and laughed a lot, and parked someplace called Skip's Landing, a parking spot popular in the day for " make out spot", as it was quiet, dark, and unattended at night. We did a lot of laughing, and somehow, I ended up kissing Arty, and then Al, just quick kisses in fun more than anything else, and we were laughing. Now I needed to use a bathroom, and we needed to find one Fast! " I have to pee! Hurry, find an all night bathroom, and hurry!
They drove from place to place until we found that " all night bathroom" ! Ahhhhhh, relief! " I need to go home, take me home, please." Arty heads to my house, as my head is spinning, and I am saying" Look at all the pretty lights!"
It is after 11 pm, and I don't care really, actually did not even think about it, until I step into the house, where my 6 ft 280 pound Daddy is in the kitchen, sleeping standing up by the counter. He awakes just enough to ask my why I am late. " I'm not late, Daddy, this is the night they turned the clocks back, remember?" He kisses me and heads back to bed, and I go up to my own, noticing when I laid down the room spun. I finally fell asleep.
My memories of the next few months are not as clear as I hoped they would be, but, I started dating Al, with Tom still being away at college, and when Tom came home for a visit, I was with Tom. One day, I was expecting Tom to come over, when I was told by a friend, that Al was on his way over too. Oops!
In a flash of a moment, I had to do something. Decide. On Tom's arrival, I sat down with him and told him I was ending our relationship, and he began to cry, and ask me why. ( Well, the real reason was my boyfriend is on his way over here, and I do not want a fight to start. Al lives close by, and Tom is still attending college for 3 more years. I am 17.) After crying with him for a few minutes, I ask him to leave, and he reluctantly does, taking with him the ring.)
A few minutes later, Al arrives and off we go on our date, and we start to either see or talk to each other on the phone every day, much to the chagrin of my Daddy, when he would follow the phone cord and find me under the table or desk talking to him for hours. Yes, young readers, a phone cord.
Two weeks after the breakup, I received a dozen roses from the florist, with a note from Tom. He followed up with a phone call, begging me to take him back, with a plea, and promise to find a local college, and " How can you hurt someone who loves you?" question. I began to cry too, I really did love Tom, but, did not want to change his plans, and Al " needed" me more. I ended the phone call without even knowing how true those words were, until a few years later in our lives.
Al told me about his family, two brothers Artie, the eldest, and Don, the baby. His parents Gladys and Aloysius were older most of the parents we knew, as they married and had their children in their mid thirties -to forties. He had not had another girlfriend before, although he had a fantasy type girlfriend he had met at the resort his parents frequented in upstate NY, Lange's Groveside. She was older than he was, and she played the flirt and teased him, but, nothing came of it other than a teen-aged boy's broken heart.
Al had a job with Bulova Watch company, who were not making only watches at that time. The were commissioned to make parts of the bombs being used in the Vietnam War. Yes, this was 1969. He was a Master Solderer, and they used his skills for make parts for the bomb.
He brought me home to meet his parents, and it was my turn to be nervous. The entire gang was there, and The Man from Uncle was on the TV. There was just silence for a few minutes, while they all got a good look at the only girl he ever brought home. His father called me Waverly, for many years, instead of Valerie, in reference to Mr Waverly from the show. These were good people.
His dad was the king of the duct tape repair, and his handiwork was evident on the recliner arms, the kitchen counter, and the worn out area rugs on the floor. Mom G was a very frugal woman, even cutting the napkins in half to save on waste. One day, I asked for the other half at dinner, and I think they all went into shock, LOL.
We were inseparable during my senior year. One day I got a phone call from Arty, who wanted to " warn me" that Al had told them all he was planning to have sex with me. I laughed it off, we had been hot and heavy, but, sex? Al was a bit shy.
In fact, I noticed on many of our dinner dates, he did not eat, but, would have a soda while I ate my dinner. I think I thought that was so sweet, as maybe he did not have enough money for both of us to eat. Much later on in our relationship, I learned the true reason, and it was awful. Neither of us know why at the time, but, Al would have " a nervous" reaction to certain situations, that made him very sick to his stomach. Whether it was a happy or tragic change of routine, he would become ill. Coming to see me for our dates, was such a change. Neither of knew why, and at that time, I did not even know about this " thing".
Well, Al made good on his words to his friend, despite all the " intuitive" reasons I had not to make love with him, I had nothing that would make me say no. Remember, I was not told about becoming a woman, my parents did not tell us the story of the " Birds and the Bees". The first inkling about what sex actually was came from the whispers among my high school chums, and one of those girls told us... in her hushed voice, " Well, the man puts his " thing" into you and pees inside you." On, HELL no, not me!!
My only experience seeing a penis previous to this, was a dog's; I watched horrified, expecting this would be no different, an extension of that " outer penis would come out of that penis" , but, no, that did not happen. Whew~
His touch made me feel so good, I could see no reason to stop. NONE, so, we made love on the pool table in his basement that first time. I also thought to myself, that I could not get pregnant, as everything that went in, came back out! Talk about naive?
So, it began. Al took me to my Senior Prom in that lovely gown I made, and we had a wonderful time. Not long after that, I realized I missed a period, then another. We secretly went to the doctor, and we went so far as to buy cheap plastic gold rings, and claimed we were married. When he came back in to congratulate us on our new pending arrival, Al had to help me back on my wobbly legs to his car.
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| Senior Yearbook 1970 |
My mother, the very same mother that bore 6 children, is sitting at the other end of the table, watching TV, when my father says to her, " Evie, the kids want to get married. " My mother, says, " Why now?" " Valerie is expecting. " he replies. She says, get this. " Expecting what?" I am now ready to dive under the table ,as he says, " Expecting a baby, Evie!" Oh boy, my mother just bursts into tears, and my father, tells Al he should leave now. Whoa.
They don't yell, they don't really seem angry with me. They do seem disappointed, and that was something I never wanted to do. I was the " good one", the smart one, the college bound one, and now I was the pregnant one. They asked me if I am sure this is what I want, what will I do about college? The year I became 18. was the year they made abortions legal in NY, did I want an abortion?
That question shocked me to the core. I was raised in the Catholic Church, and abortions were clearly not in the doctrine. No, I did not want an abortion, college can wait, I will marry Al, and we will raise this baby. I am sorry, I am sorry, I am so sorry.
Daddy goes into action. His child will be married in the church, and we all set off for a meeting with our priest, Father Ribaudo , to arrange a wedding on short notice. We made the mistake of " assuming" that since he was a younger priest, and had initiated the modern mass that included music at St Rose of Lima ,that he would be more understanding of this situation. To my father's dismay, and to my anger, we were told he would not marry us. He told us that we did not know each other long enough, that the future father to be was not a Catholic ( Al was Lutheran), and that if we divorced I would be ex-communicated from the church. He advised us to get married by a judge, in his chambers, then in one year, if we still wanted to be married, to come back and the church would do so.
I asked him, so, let's get this clear: If I am married in by a judge, does the church recognize that as a marriage, or am I living in sin? " Living in sin". When the baby is born in 6 months, will you Baptize the baby? " No, since the baby was born out of wedlock, we cannot Baptize the infant. " So, you are telling me, that this innocent child, cannot be Baptized, and should the baby die , the baby cannot go to Heaven?" That is correct. I could see the veins on my father's head throbbing, and his face getting red. I believe I told Father Ribaudo he could go F__k himself, as we all stormed out of is office.
Daddy then called Archbishop Kellenberg of the Diocese of Rockville Centre, and he pleaded for him to over ride this decision, only to be told the Diocese would stand by their priests word. I did not hear the phone call, but, I often wondered if my father told him he could go F__k himself, too.
In the interim, Al and I must go let his family know, as well. Al tells them when I am not there yet, and on my arrival, I am met by his mother aiming the stick of a broom handle at me in a joking kinda " you are a bad girl" way, but, they were basically accepting of the situation. Artie had already planned his wedding, and we went as a couple. Artie told Al, you had better marry this girl, or I will kill you. Words of approval, I was hoping.
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| Al and I on our way to Artie's wedding |
My father let us know that we WERE scheduled to be married, August 20. 1970 in judge's chambers at 11 am. This was was the Tuesday before that date. My mother took me shopping that same Tuesday, and purchased me panties, in purple, pink, and whites. The night before the wedding, she presented me with a Purple Pleated Negligee, as she cried, and said she loved me.
Al told our friend Arty, he had considered running off, but, wanted to do the right thing His father refused to take a day off of work to attend. My father told me he would not be able to attend the wedding, as he had to work. My mother and his attended, along with his brother Don, some of my siblings, and Al came in a suit with a bouquet of flowers for his Bride. I wore a lovely white blouse, a pair of green culottes, and white sandals. Just before we were to enter the chambers, we all noticed a very pregnant distraught young woman, being comforted by other women, and a man, who was shaking his head , being convinced to go through with a wedding, he clearly did not seem willing to do.
Then, my father came. My big Daddy Bear came, and that made it all better for now.
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