Heart Strings

Hello again. It has been  a while since my last post, as I am recovering from our loss of Nick B., my grandson.

Since that time, we have had signs that his spirit is still amongst us. One example of this was my being directed to the page for St. Therese of Liseux, for the quotes I used at Nick's celebration of life. I found this one today: “Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” 
― Thérèse de Lisieux This is #WWND.

My son Brian, who held it all together for his brother, wife, and niece during the time of immediate grieving, was having a tough time in the subsequent week. He visited the cemetery, to " learn more from Nick". The following day, there was a big thunderstorm, with a lot of lightning. He went outside to photograph some of this action. 

Upon looking at the photos, over 300 of them he took, only one showed up and it was this: 

Clear as day, in the darkness of the storm, the only photo was our sign, a heart on a string. This photo struck me to my core, and also reminded me of this:

This is an EKG symbol, or a Heart on a String, showing the rhythm of the beating heart. Wow!

Another week goes by, and I hear Nick in his #WWND way, not in words, but suddenly I was compelled to write this:

‪#‎What  Would Nick Do~~~Heart Strings

The calls came in, they said you were gone.
No! No! No! This cannot be, not my grandson!
We screamed, we raged, broken as we cried
We don’t believe, we question why, and how could you have died?
We still see you, we still hear you, and we still feel you at our side.

What would Nick do? What would Nick do?
Friends and family were notified, all of them were called.
One by one, two by two, three by four, hundreds came, none of them had stalled.
They held up your family with memories they shared.
Our hearts were lifted with love, prayer, and laughter, and they showed how much they cared.

What would Nick do? What would Nick do?
You showed us your heartstrings shining in the darkness light!
We saw your heart strings, in the storm, shining above oh so bright!
Through your life you showed us the way
To live our lives with love each and every day.
Flash that smile, make a friend, help someone, and make a funny face!

What would Nick do? What would Nick do?
He would love the human race!
Your heartstrings will bring us all together, and brighten up our day
Through your life you have shown us the way.
We shall strive
To keep you alive...
We will do
What Nick would do!

Love Grandma~~~ #WWND

I wrote this in just a few minutes after hearing Nick. I never "heard" him, but, I know I did. In fact, I think he wanted me to put it to music, his passion, or have me do a rap version! That is #WWND!

Our lives go on, but Nick is always here with us, and I am so grateful for that!

Today I continued with me Meals on Wheels group at my church. I was head cook and chose Beef Stroganoff to prepare for our 61 local residents who cannot get out of the house, or prepare a hot meal.

I used a product called Steakeze for the beef as beef is very expensive, and this was more affordable. They are " breakaway" style, made from sirloin, so they are very quick to prepare, and perfect for this dish. They are also perfect for making Philly Cheesesteak sandwiches. We made mixed vegetables, and noodles. They also got a fruit cocktail, dinner roll and pastries.  I got the recipe from Campbell's Soup:

What You'll Need

1 tablespoon vegetable oil 
1 pound boneless beef sirloin steak or beef top round steak, 3/4-inch thick (about 1 steak), cut into thin strips  ( we used the steakeze)
1 each medium onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup) 
1 can (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup or (10 1/2 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed 98% Fat Free Cream of Mushroom Soup or Campbells® Healthy Request® Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup 
3/4 cup reduced fat (2%) milk 
1/2 teaspoon paprika 
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper 
1/3 cup sour cream or plain yogurt 
4 cups whole wheat or regular egg noodles, cooked,drained 
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley 

How to Make It

• 1
  Heat the oil in a 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the beef and cook until well browned, stirring often. Remove the beef from the skillet.  Pour off any fat.
• 2
  Reduce the heat to medium. Add the onion to the skillet and cook until it's tender.
• 3
  Stir the soup, milk, paprika and black pepper in the skillet and heat to a boil.  Stir in the sour cream.  Return the beef to the skillet and cook until the beef is cooked through.  Serve the beef mixture over the noodles.  Sprinkle with the parsley.

You all take care of each other. This is why we are here.

Depression and Anxiety Suck

Depression sucks. It is painful. It cannot be described well, or explained easily. Sometimes, it would seem there is NO explanation, it just IS.

I feel pretty sure most people would not know I suffer from this, on and off again, condition. Currently, I am in the thick of it. For me, it seems to be brought on by stress, by worrying and concerning myself over the many issues in my and my family's lives, that I clearly have NO control over. It is not sleeping when you cannot turn your mind off these thoughts. It is crying for no apparent reason.

Some days, I do not want to be alone. Some days, I HAVE to be alone. I may get very short fused for nothing at all, even with the man I adore. My diabetes is affected badly by this depression/ stress. Mac nearly took me to the ER the other day, as I burst into tears, and started trembling, and felt faint. We checked my glucose level, and as suspected, it was way too low for me, so, I had to get some sugar in me quickly via a Coca Cola.

I do not eat right when depressed. I should eat 6 small meals a day, but some days, I barely eat one at dinner. I cook the dinner, but, sometimes I lose my appetite for it soon after.

At the moment, and for the past few weeks, Mac and I have been trying to get a mortgage, and look for a new house . We currently live in an Adult Community in a manufactured home we own, but, rent the small lot underneath it. We are feeling crowded lately. There are too many rules, you can hear the neighbors talk all the time, and the rent goes up every year.

It is a very nice park. We have 2 pools for our use, and a community center where activities are available.  The immediate neighbors are friendly, but, we rarely socialize with them. One of the reasons is , they do like to drink alcohol, and as I have alluded to, my husband is a recovering alcoholic, and we do not.

We are in close proximity to most of my children and grandchildren, which I absolutely love, and yet still do not see them often enough to make a good reason to stay. Yet, all of the real estate in this area, is either way out of my budget, or really awful, and would require a complete rehab.

This area of Valrico-Brandon, has too much traffic congestion, and the main exit/entrance to our park, is extremely dangerous. There have been a lot of really bad accidents in this area.

We want to find something with a bit of land around us, a bit more space. Mac wants a YARD to mow, and we need a yard for this dog of ours, to run around in.

One daughter is upset that I may not be in the immediate area,  the other is hoping I come closer to her area. I am feeling pressure.

We have contacted a recommended realtor and lender. We have done searches for homes, and yet we still wait for that loan approval. I am just overwhelmed by all of this. Mac tells me all the time: " God has a plan for us, stop worrying!" " Live and let God!" I believe this, and yet, I cannot stop my mind, or my worry.

Things people with hidden depression do

I try to wake up with a plan for each day, and it rarely gets done. Some days, I am am afraid to take a shower. I have fallen 2x in there, and won't take a shower unless Mac is here anyway, but, sometimes, I can't even get myself to get in there. I have to force myself to go out, even to shop for necessities.

( This just in: mortgage on hold, as a medical bill showed up in collections on my report THIS WEEK, that should not be there, as it should have been covered by insurance. Will take an act of God to fix it for a while.) 

This just plain sucks.

Well, last night I made a Stuffed Mushroom Casserole. The mushrooms I had bought were too small to stuff, and it is a lot of work to do so, this turned out just as tasty, and way easier.

Stuffed Mushroom Casserole
 
Yields 1 (8 by 8-inch) pan; about 8 servings ( I ate one serving, Mac ate the rest...)

1 tablespoon butter, diced (plus more to grease the pan)
1 oz Parmigiano-Reggiano, grated (divided)
4 tablespoons olive oil
2 large stalks celery, finely diced
1 large onion, diced
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1 bay leaf
1/2 lb button mushrooms (or any kind you like), thinly sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 teaspoons minced fresh rosemary (or 1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary leaves)
1 1/2 teaspoons minced fresh thyme (or 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves)
1/2 cup breadcrumbs
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce*
4 oz sharp Cheddar, shredded (divided)

*To make this dish vegetarian, omit the Worcestershire sauce.

Preheat oven to 400F; lightly grease an 8 by 8-inch pan (or you can use smaller gratin dishes).
Transfer 2 tablespoons of grated Parmigiano-Reggiano to a small bowl and set aside.

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat; add the celery and cook 3 minutes, then add the onion, salt, pepper, and bay leaf and sauté 7 minutes.  Add the mushrooms and cook until all the veggies are tender and the mushrooms are browned, about 7 to 10 minutes.  Add the garlic, rosemary, and thyme and cook 1 to 2 minutes more; cool slightly.

Stir together the veggie mixture with the breadcrumbs, egg, Worcestershire sauce, the larger portion of Parmigiano-Reggiano, and half the Cheddar in a large bowl.

Spread the stuffing mixture into the prepared dish.  Sprinkle the remaining Cheddar and the reserved 2 tablespoons of Parmigiano-Reggiano on top, and dot on the butter.

Bake until the cheese is melted and golden brown in places on top, about 15 minutes.  (Broil it for a couple minutes if you want it to have more color.)

Tuesday Mornings Meals on Wheels

Tuesday mornings I volunteer as one of the cooks for  Meals On Wheels, at my church. We are an awesome group. A few months ago, the main chapter for Tampa Bay, wanted us to give up our " clients", so they could take over more clients.

Now, mind you. they have a professional chef, an entire building with kitchen, and volunteers to prepare a LOT of meals 5 days a week. The organization gets funded for this process, at this facility, and the only paid staff is the chef.

Our group does not assembly line cook, and our drivers are all volunteers, as well. The  MOW of Tampa, wanted our drivers to go pick up meals daily in the main facility, a lengthy drive, and of course more expense to them. Much of our food, is donated by church members in our community, and some is purchased by the head cook of the day, and reimbursed by MOW national. Our group can receive up to 2.50 a meal in funding, which is supposed to be paid by our clients when they can. 30% can, the other 70% do not or cannot. We do not spend $2.50 a meal, so, we do not ask for more than we spend. Our group usually can prepare 50 meals for $50-$70.00.  The Tampa facility collects from MOW org, $4.50 per meal, whether the clients pay or not.  It's a business. We are a ministry. Yeah, we rock.

There are 19 churches in my area that participate in our group, serving about 200 plus meals a day, to those who have applied for the service, and cannot get out to purchase food, or possibly cannot prepare a hot meal. 4 churches per day, make the food, so, we only have 1 day a week of service per church, serving about 40-60 meals per day, 5 days a week, with 6 or so volunteers in the kitchen, and 5 drivers. The Tampa group prepares about 700 meals per day.

We LOVE what we do, we feel it is our ministry, and our group has a fellowship to gather each week, choosing a meal , purchasing the foods, and serving it hot.  Our food not only looks awesome, it TASTES awesome, and our clients LOVE us. We LOVE them.

We did not want to become part of the mass production lines, and in fact, this move would have left our cooks, without a mission. They would not need us. No way. Fortunately, there was a vote.. you guessed it, we voted NO! So, we go on, and are grateful for that.

Today, we prepared Ham and Spaghetti Pie... they had mixed vegetables, and dinner roll on the side. We prepared a fresh fruit salad, and they also got a dessert bag full of goodies.  (Recipe in this blog.)

Make NO mistake, they do an great job, and provide a much needed, and appreciated service, at the Tampa facility. Still... Them>>>

2 of " Their" meals

 

Not us, but, LIKE us, lol church MOW cooks

Sample of 1 of our church meals. We also give them either green or fruit salad

The 2 pics of typical local church meals we deliver. I know which one I prefer.. So, we are delighted to be able to continue with our mission, with passion and commitment. Our clients are happy as well.

I use a tool called My Kitchen Calculator to convert my recipes to our larger volumes:
http://www.mykitchencalculator.com/recipeconverter.html


This recipe for Spaghetti-Ham Pie, by Janna Hammond, is from Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic School Cookbook, one of the cookbooks created at FamilyCookbookProject.com. We help families or individuals create heirloom cookbook treasures.

Contributor:	Janna Hammond Added: Sunday, June 16, 2013
Category:	Main Dishes
Ingredients:	6 oz spaghetti, uncooked  ( we break the spaghetti into thirds before we cook it.) 4 cloves garlic minced 2½ tablespoon olive oil ¼ cup flour ¼ teaspoon salt ⅛ teaspoon pepper ¾ cup half-and-half 1½ cup milk ¼ to ½ cup chopped cooked ham ¼ cup Parmesan cheese, grated, divided ( we used Pecorino, fresh grated)
Directions:	Cook spaghetti according to package directions; drain. Set aside. Cook garlic in olive oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat, stirring constantly, 5 minutes. Stir in flour, salt, and pepper. Cook, stirring constantly, 1 minute. Gradually add half-and-half and milk; cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until thickened and bubbly. Stir in spaghetti. Spoon half of spaghetti mixture into a lightly grease 9-inch pie plate; sprinkle with ham and 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese. Top with remaining spaghetti mixture, and sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese. Bake at 425° for 15 to 20 minutes or until lightly browned. Serves 6

To learn more about Meals on Wheels, click here:   http://www.mealsonwheelsamerica.org/national

Monday, Monday!

I found this recipe last year on FaceBook.. and I have made it several times, and will be making it again tonight. Oh... it is good! Try it!!

This is the Chicken Lombardy I baked last night. Here's the original recipe. This recipe is now YOUR recipe. Make any type of changes you like. Remember, YOU are the one that has to eat it. You can omit butter and use the oil you prefer. You can also use low-fat or fat-free cheeses. You can remove the wine and use low-sodium organic broth.

 

Ingredients:
8 oz package(s) sliced fresh mushrooms
2 tablespoon(s) butter melted
6 skinned and boned chicken breasts
1/2 cup(s) all-purpose flour
1/3 cup(s) butter
3/4 cup(s) Marsala
1/2 cup(s) chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
1/8 teaspoon(s) pepper
1/2 cup(s) shredded mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup(s) Parmesan cheese
2 green onions chopped

Preparation:
Cook mushrooms in 2 tablespoons butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, stirring constantly, 3 to 5 minutes or just until tender. Remove from heat; set aside.

Cut each chicken breast in half lengthwise. Place chicken between 2 sheets of heavy-duty plastic wrap; flatten to 1/8 inch thickness, using a meat mallet or rolling pin.

Dredge chicken pieces in flour. Cook chicken in batches, in 1 to 2 tablespoons butter in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat 3 to 4 minutes on each side or until golden. Place chicken in a lightly greased 13 x 9 inch baking dish, overlapping edges. Repeat procedure with remaining chicken and butter. Reserving pan drippings in skillet. Sprinkle mushrooms evenly over chicken.

Add wine and broth to skillet. Bring to a boil; reduce heat, and simmer, uncovered, 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in salt and pepper. Pour sauce over chicken. Combine cheeses and green onions; sprinkle over chicken.

Bake uncovered, at 450 degrees for 12 to 14 minutes until cheese melts.

A day without cheesecake... is.. well. why?

My Lemon Vanilla Sour Cream Cheese Cake- topped with Cherry Pie filling.
1 C Graham cracker crumbs
1/8 cup sugar
4 tbsp butter

Melt butter , mix in the crumbs and sugar, pat into a spring form pan ( I used a medium) you can use a small square pan, or deep pie dish.
2 8 oz packages cream cheese softened to room temp
1/2 cup sugar
juice of 1 lemon and the zest
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1 cup sour cream
Beat cream cheese and sugar til creamy, add in the lemon, vanilla, and eggs. Beat again til combined well. Blend in sour cream.
Pour the mixture into the prepared crust. Bake at 325 for about 45-55 mins, until cake is set. Use topping of your choice, or as is..I had reserved a few of the crumb mixture and added it on top before baking.
Double this recipe in spring form pan will make a deeper pie- or you can bake in a 9x13.